Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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