We're like a lot better than the average bears
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
