I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
