Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
