help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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