so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
