2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
