Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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