So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
did you just send me my own nude
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
dude. I can hear the air.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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