Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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