we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
