his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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