What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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