I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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