I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We need to rekindle our bromance
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
