I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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