Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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