whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
