I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
