you had me at cake vodka
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
