found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize