Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
