i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize