She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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