is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
