how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize