I will die if light touches me.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
