you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
