so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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