need another drink. this is the easiest way
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
