I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
