the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
