trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
