Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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