Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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