Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
