if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
