Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize