You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
