I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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