dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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