You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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