So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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