Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
