Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is Oprah even human
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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