does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
