so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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