if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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