he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
