Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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