I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Houston, we have a blender
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize