How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
