quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You can't motorboat a personality
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
