Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
