and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
