he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
