erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
