You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
