so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
