I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
