My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my being single is dangerous.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
